Waiting for Sunshine by my windows

I may be young...
*and thank you to those who've wished me my birthday..which fall on 10th June 2011, Friday...
A blessed day and a very blissful one... (n_n) *
but I feel like I've lived on so many lives,
been through so many emotions,
been on different crossroads,
been thinking about so many life changing ideas,
been through so many difficulties,
been through so many happiness,
been listening too lots of stories,
been walking through many shoes,
and that's what lead to what i am today...
I am grateful...

I'm just human,
and a girl at that...
some says i'm still naive..maybe I am now...
but my grandma says, I've been too matured since I was young...
oh dang, maybe my maturity decreased by age huh?! hahahaa...
I've made wrong decision...but mostly I've tried to be on my best...
though since last 2 years, I've been giving over to my silly and crazy sides which sometimes leads me to stupid decision and regrets...
though people around me says that it's a regret..but for me, it's a lesson that I learned and I really treasured it...and maybe some of it I do feel like I'd rather forget...
well I guess, most of my decisions a done with my altruistic-self being the final judge...
in the end, I don't want to hurt anyone involved..unless they deserved it!! muahahahhahaaa~ *evil laugh*

oooowwwkkaaayyy~
back to the topic...
it's a question most people asked me lately..including my cousins...ngeee~
why the sudden change? why hijab? why now?
and believe me, 6 years ago, friends asked me...
where's your hijab? fly with the wind? got culture-shock??..miahahaha~


ok~ here's the thing,
I love wearing hijab since small...I even forced my mom to buy me one to wear when I was in primary 1..
and she's the one who asked me not to..but she relented to me in the end...so I've been wearing hijab since primary and secondary..but only in school...
the thing is, my mom is not wearing, and my sister is definitely not a fan of the idea...she even used to forced me to not wear it when we were small..with the reason that it would look weird that my mom is not wearing one...
so, eventually, getting tired of the nagging...I forget the idea of wearing it out of school...
it's been like a normal thing to me as time goes by...like a uniform..wear it only to school...

then I get the chance to further my study at Labuan..1st time being far away from my family...
and this is where I feel like I wanna get close to Him...because I'm scared of being drifted away being far from the home and people that always keep me grounded...
and I wear hijab full-time and I even became part of the mosque 'family'...
but when I went back home, i dont know why i feel like a hypocrite, so I let go of my hijab even after I entered the Uni...
and that's where people that knows me from Labuan starts asking me about my hijab...geezz~
I do feel weird being asked that way..hahaha..oh well, it's in the past...
so, i've been thinking and telling myself, if I ever pursue my degree, i want to wear it completely and permanently...
but, after I went for my degree, i have some hesitation, so I hold on to that idea..till I really feel right...
then my mom told me that she's going for umrah, I'm so stoked for her...
and when she came back , she starts wearing hijab...and my desire to wear it grows stronger...
and when my ex-housemate, the cute Pika, told me this words, "I love my dad, that's why I started wearing hijab..because a girl's sin is being hold by her dad until she's married"...and I was touched..
so I thought, maybe this is the right time...and I started slowly wearing it with my other family over in Shah Alam...the family that's been there for me and treat me like their own child...

I'm thankful and blessed, because all these while, He's been giving me the Light and even though I forgot Him sometimes, He's still there waiting and keep guiding me to the right path....Alhamdulillah...

So there...I really hope those question is answered now... n_n

so there...here's the new me...anymore questions? n_*