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Tokyo, I'm in love : Episode 1

She is a hopeless romantic. Maybe growing up watching those japanese drama that is always about that one true love, that happily ever after kind of love, that no matter what happen, that one person you fall for will end up staying with you forever kind of love. Yeah, she was spoiled by that. She always imagine that, that is how her love life will be. Thus, she never was in any relationship during her highschool years. Because she never had that struck of the heart or a deep affection for anyone like what she saw on those dramas.

Now that she is working, she had been in some damaging relationship. She was too caught up in trying to be the best girlfriend to her exes. Trying too hard to make happiness in all her relationships until she abandoned who she was before. Until her lights almost fade away.

The lastest relationship made her died inside. She feel lost as she has lost herself in the process, trying so hard to be who she was not, just for the sake of getting that guy to stay. She was left hanging, not knowing what she did wrong. Until one day, she saw him with another girl. She thought that it would crushed her, which it almost did. But the next day, she was feeling more alive than she ever did from all those years. She started her old hobby again, filling up her time with her japanese drama. She began to remember the language that she loved so much again.

She began to catch up with all the old japanese dramas.

Then, it hit her. The feeling that she thought she has lost. The excitement and the crushing on the characters of those drama. It was exhilarating, it gave her more happiness than she has ever felt since she started dating her exes. It gave her hope, and fired up her hopeless romantic side and feeding more hopeful and magical encounters in her head.

Praying that maybe her dreams would come true, her love story began.

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Imagination running wild

Its been almost a while since my imagination in story telling comes alive. I think the last story that i ever did was when i was in highschool.
Lately i keep having this story in my head. A romantic tales. A fiction of a hopeless romantic. So i think i decided to give it a go.
I dont know if anyone would ever read it. But, here we go.

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My journey to Masters in Bioinformatics

Its been a while.
This time, i'm back to being alone in my journey again.
And this time, my heart will be forever closed for any human beings.
And i will focus on my Masters programme.
I will try my best to take you all to my journey.
Master in Bioinformatics in Glasgow, Scotland.

Yes, i decided to accept that offer this time around without anyone to hinder me or to make me stay like last time.
I never told him that one of the reason I didnt care enough to really go for it, because he keep telling me how scared he is for letting me go faraway from him,when our relationship is still young. I shouldnt have let that get in the way. I should have gone to further my studies, no matter what.

So, this is a new start.

I will update more on my journey to Glasgow.

For now, I have secured a place in University of Glasgow. My enrollment date will be in September 2018.
And i have tons to do and prepare before that day.
Till then.

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That pain that you keep having

You know that you are floating far away from the place that you have put yourself on with hard work, when you don't even feel like yourself and all you feel was heartache, insecurities, anger and annoyism. 

Yeah, the whole year..the whole freaking year I was being that way. I dont even have patience anymore, i started to think i need anger management for myself. I have enough trust issues to deal with before, and then when someone that I trust and love so much was not being truthful enough behind me, that have strike the switch to the Hell Girl everyone is dealing with now.

Been doing self-improvement lately and keep thinking what went wrong and what have i become. (i believed that i have become a toxic person....really...its scary..)

Its all due to my own doings. Of how I promised myself not be in a nonhalal relationship? yeah, i broke my own promise. 

And recently, I've read something that strikes a chord in my head and my heart. It goes something like this:
" Sometimes a person falls so deeply in love with another person that they forget about Allah. The way Allah teaches such people a lesson, is by punishing them for the very same person they left Allah for, that person becomes a source of their pain. Only to be reminded that Allah is the only true love."


I have tried my best, to talk it out to that person, to make it halal between us. Heck, even mom said she don't even care about the dowry. Just get the akad done is enough for her...and honestly, for me too.

But I am trying my best not to be selfish too.. I tried my best to consider his situation as in no stable career yet. But months turns to year. And what between us, sometimes would turn worse because we have a different definition of what loyal is within a relationship.

And it all comes back again at me for leaving Allah for a mere human being that are not ready to commit to me. How stupid of me... again and again... being committed to people who are not really up for a commitment. Well maybe they did in the beginning, and overtime they just get scared and decided to prolong the time where they should commit.

I'm gonna take that advice from ahjussi...to just focus on me alone. Because the truth is, i dont have any more time to waste. I'm running out of time here. My biological clock..and maybe my lifespan as well.. Health is something rare for me nowadays, lungs began to deteriorate. I just dont have the time to be something else than a commitment.

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Twelve Months

Last year, there is this guy. Whom i used to know when we were in Diploma. He suddenly pop up in my life again when I was in Japan. And he keep annoying me and looking for ways to met up with me by asking me out for a movie (which i never said no to,besides food). So when I was back from Japan, i watched the first movie I ever watched for quite a long time. We watched Ip Man 3.
He was nervous, i know it from the way he acts. It was not awkward at all despite we never seen each other since 2011. I was so comfortable that night, because I've known him, and i always like him for his jokes and jovial attitudes. Thinking back, i did get attracted to him during those diploma days, during our band practice, cause I will always look for him back then. But i was in a different relationship during those times and he was my junior, so the attraction was harmless to me.

After that movie 'date'. We keep contacting and whatsapping each other nonstop. Sometimes he would msg me till in the wee morning where i've fallen asleep already. 

And exactly on this date last year, we are out for our so called lunch, then fixing his car, then off to dinner at Teh Tarik Cafe at the riverbank. Exactly on this date where I saw that he was being protective over me when this one guy, the boyfriend of one of my friend, told my friend that he wants to matchmake me with his friends, and he looks angry (like could kill people kinda look) and he was restless. Then after the dinner, he didnt let me go home yet, asking me to stay for a while because he wants to listen to me talk. We sat in front of his car, still at the Teh Tarik cafe area, talking and him commenting until his mom called. Then even then, he was reluctantly letting me go.

Then that night, he nonstop messaging me, asking me to continue my stories and him to continues his. We talk and talk and I sense that he have something he wants to tell me, but he keep diverting it into something else. He would stop halfway saying he want to said smthg but prefer not to. After a very long time of going round and round that way, it was 4am in the morning, when he finally let it out. That he loves me, and he wants to care for me. And i was telling him all the condition that i am in, the damage part, the insecurity part, the trust issue part, and he was willing to go through all those. He was willing to wait for me to be able to accept him fully.


And that was the start...and now its been twelve months.

Twelve months of ups and down, of heartbreaks and laughter, of starting over again and again till I was so tired. Wishing for honesty and loyalty that would last but seems like its hard for his part. Begging for his time instead of him giving it freely like the beginning.

I've open my heart for him. I've accepted him inside my walls more than anyone ever was. Being the longest one to stay with me with all my tantrums and emotion swings. 


I love him. I really do. 


Happy 1st Anniversary My Love SAAW.

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The Four Imams Series : IMAM AHMAD IBN HANBAL

بِسْمِ ٱللهِ ٱلرَّحْمٰنِ ٱلرَّحِيمِ

For the last of the four great imams, Ahmad ibn Hanbal, his contribution went beyond just fiqh. Although he was one of the greatest jurists and scholars of hadith of his time, perhaps his greatest legacy was his courage to stand for the orthodox beliefs of Islam as they were imparted to Prophet Muhammad ﷺ in the face of persecution and imprisonment at the hands of the political authority. For this reason, Imam Ahmad’s legacy is far more than just the establishment of the Hanbali madhab, but also includes the preservation of core Islamic beliefs against political oppression.


IMAM AHMAD IBN HANBAL – THE CHAMPION OF ISLAMIC BELIEF


Early Life

Ahmad ibn Hanbal al-Shaybani was born in 778 in Baghdad, the capital of the Abbasid Caliphate. The relatively new city was fast becoming a center of scholarship of all forms. So as a child, Ahmad had numerous opportunities to learn and expand his intellectual horizons. Thus, by the time he was 10 years old, he had memorized the entire Quran and began studying the traditions of Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, the hadith.
Imam Ahmad traveled throughout the Arabian Peninsula in search of knowledge
Imam Ahmad traveled throughout the Arabian Peninsula in search of knowledge
Like Imam Shafi’i, Imam Ahmad lost his father at a very young age. So in addition to spending his time studying fiqh and hadith under some of Baghdad’s greatest scholars, he also worked in a post office to help support his family. He was thus able to afford studying under one of Imam Abu Hanifa’s foremost students, Abu Yusuf. From Abu Yusuf, the young Ahmad learned the basics of fiqh such as ijtihad (intellectual decision making), andqiyas (analogical deduction). 
After becoming proficient in the Hanafi Madhab, Ahmad ibn Hanbal began to study Hadith under some of the greatest Hadith scholars of Baghdad, including Haitham ibn Bishr. He was so eager to expand his knowledge of the sayings and doings of the Prophet ﷺ that he would regularly be waiting after fajr outside of the homes of his teachers, ready to start that day’s lesson. After studying in Baghdad, he went on to study in Makkah, Madinah, Yemen, and Syria. During this time, he even met Imam al-Shafi’i in Makkah. Al-Shafi’i helped the young Ahmad move beyond just memorization of hadith and fiqh, and be able to instead also understand the principles behind them. This collaboration between two of the four great imams clearly shows that the schools of Islamic law are not opposed to each other, but rather work hand in hand. In fact, when Imam al-Shafi’i left Baghdad, he was recorded as having said, “I am leaving Baghdad when there is none more pious, nor a greater jurist than Ahmad ibn Hanbal.”

Ahmad ibn Hanbal the Scholar

After studying with Imam al-Shafi’i, Imam Ahmad was able to begin to formulate his own legal opinions in fiqh. When Imam Ahmad was 40 years of age in the year 820, his mentor Imam al-Shafi’i passed away. At this point, Imam Ahmad began to teach hadith and fiqh to the people of Baghdad. Students would flock to his lectures, and he especially took care of the poorer ones, keeping in mind his own humble origins.
Despite being in the capital of the Muslim world, Baghdad, Imam Ahmad refused to be attracted to a life of luxury and wealth. He continued to live on very humble means, and rejected the numerous gifts that people would offer him, instead choosing to live on whatever small amounts of money he had. He especially insisted on not accepting gifts from political figures, ensuring his independence from the political authority which could affect his teachings.

The Mihna

Imam Ahmad was in Baghdad during the time of the Abbasid Caliph al-Ma’mun, who reigned from 813-833. Although al-Ma’mun was vital to the establishment of Baghdad as an intellectual center, he was heavily influenced by a group known as the Mu’tazila. Mu’tazili philosophy championed the role of rationalism in all aspects of life, including theology. Thus, instead of relying on the Quran and Sunnah to understand God, they relied on philosophical techniques first developed by the Ancient Greeks. Chief among their beliefs was that the Quran was a created book, as opposed to the un-created literal word of Allah.
Al-Ma’mun believed in the Mu’tazili line of thought, and sought to impose this new and dangerous belief system on everyone in his empire – including the scholars. While many scholars pretended to subscribe to Mu’tazili ideas in order to avoid persecution, Imam Ahmad refused to compromise his beliefs.
Legal writings based on the Hanbali Madhab written by Abu Dawud in the late 800s.
Legal writings based on the Hanbali Madhab written by Abu Dawud in the late 800s.
Al-Ma’mun instituted an inquisition known as the Mihna. Any scholars who refused to accept Mu’tazili ideas was severely persecuted and punished. Imam Ahmad, as the most famous scholar of Baghdad, was brought before al-Ma’mun and ordered to abandon his traditional Islamic beliefs about theology. When he refused, he was tortured and imprisoned. His treatment at the hands of the political authority was extremely severe. People who witnessed the torture commented that even an elephant could not have handled the treatment that Imam Ahmad was subject to.
Despite all of this, Imam Ahmad held to traditional Islamic beliefs, and thus served as an inspiration for Muslims throughout the empire. His trials set the precedent that Muslims do not give up their beliefs regardless what the political authority imposes on them. In the end, Imam Ahmad outlived al-Ma’mun and his successors until the Caliph al-Mutawakkil ascended in 847 and ended the Mihna. Imam Ahmad was again free to teach the people of Baghdad and write. During this time, he wrote his famous Musnad Ahmad ibn Hanbal, a collection of hadith that served as the basis of his school of legal thought, the Hanbali Madhab.
Imam Ahmad passed away in Baghdad in 855. His legacy was not restricted to the school of fiqh that he founded, nor the huge amount of hadith he compiled. Unlike the other three imams, he had a vital role in preserving the sanctity of Islamic beliefs in the face of intense political persecution. Although the Hanbali Madhab has historically been the smallest of the four, numerous great Muslim scholars throughout history were greatly influenced by Imam Ahmad and his thoughts, including Abdul Qadir al-Gilani, Ibn Taymiyyah, Ibn al-Qayyim, Ibn Kathir, and Muhammad ibn Abd al-Wahhab.


Bibliography:

Haddad, Gibril. The Four Imams and their Schools. Muslim Academic Trust, Print.

Khan, Muhammad. The Muslim 100. Leicestershire, United Kingdom: Kube Publishing Ltd, 2008. Print.

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The Four Imams Series : IMAM AL-BUKHARI

بِسْمِ ٱللهِ ٱلرَّحْمٰنِ ٱلرَّحِيمِ


IMAM AL-BUKHARI AND THE SCIENCE OF HADITH


In Islamic sciences, all knowledge of the religion comes back to two sources: the Quran and the sayings and doings of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ – the hadith. The Quran is considered the un-changed word of Allah as revealed to Prophet Muhammad ﷺ and is thus the foundation of all Islamic knowledge. Second after the Quran is the example set forth by the Prophet ﷺ.
But considering that he lived 1400 years ago, how can we be sure that the sayings and doings we attribute to him are real and unchanged? To someone unfamiliar with the science of hadith, the collections of hadith may seem unreliable and susceptible to corruption. However, due to the work of Imam Muhammad al-Bukhari in the 9th century, the science of hadith has been protected from such problems using a systematic and thorough method of verification for each and every saying attributed to the Prophet ﷺ. Thus, in the 21st century we can still benefit directly from the authentic sayings of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ.

Al-Bukhari’s Early Life

Imam al-Bukhari was born and raised in the city of Bukhara, in Central Asia
Imam al-Bukhari was born and raised in the city of Bukhara, in Central Asia
Abu Abdallah Muhammad ibn Ismail al-Bukhari was born in 809 or 810 in the city of Bukhara, in what is now Uzbekistan. He came from a Persian family that converted to Islam 3 generations before his time. Unfortunately for the young al-Bukhari, his father died while he was still an infant, leaving his upbringing to his mother. Despite the difficult circumstances, al-Bukhari dedicated himself to studying Islamic sciences from a young age.
Studying with the scholars in and around his hometown, al-Bukhari immersed himself in hadith studies as well as fiqh, Islamic jurisprudence. From a young age he showed a unique ability to understand complex issues of law, but more importantly, he was capable of remembering long and complex chains of narrations of hadiths. For a hadith to be considered authentic, a reliable chain of narrators is needed to connect that saying to the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ. In this, al-Bukhari excelled.
By his late teens, al-Bukhari had completed his studies in Bukhara and set out to Makkah to do Hajj (pilgrimage) with his mother and brother. Since the rise of Islam in the 600s, Makkah has been a unique mixing place for world travelers. Since all Muslims are obligated to complete the Hajj at least once, Makkah is constantly visited by people from all corners of the world. For a hadith scholar like al-Bukhari, this type of environment was invaluable.
He stayed in Makkah and Madinah for several years, where he continued to collect hadiths from some of the leading hadith scholars of the world, memorizing the text of the hadiths (the matn), the chain of narrators (the isnad), and advancing his understanding of the reliability of those narrators (the knowledge of men – ‘ilm al-rijaal). He traveled through Egypt, Syria, and Iraq to continue his studies throughout his adult life, finally settling in Basra, where he would compile his monumental hadith collection.

Sahih al-Bukhari

Although Imam al-Bukhari authored several works on the science of hadith, his most lasting contribution to Islamic sciences was his compilation of over 7000 hadiths, which he called al-Jaami’ al-Sahih al-Musnad al-Mukhtasar min Umur Rasool Allah wa sunanihi wa Ayyamihi, meaning “The Abridged Collection of Authentic Hadith with Connected Chains regarding Matters Pertaining to the Prophet, His practices and His Times”. This collection took him 16 years to complete and since its compilation has been considered the most authentic book of hadith in history, thus the book’s common name: Sahih al-Bukhari meaning “The Authentic Hadiths of al-Bukhari”.
What makes Sahih al-Bukhari so unique was Imam al-Bukhari’s meticulous attention to detail when it came to the compilation of hadiths. He had far stricter rules than other hadith scholars for accepting a hadith as authentic. The chain of narrators for a particular hadith had to be verified as authentic and reliable before Imam al-Bukhari would include that hadith in his compilation. For example, the first hadith in the book begins:
“We have heard from al-Humaydi Abdallah ibn al-Zubayr who said that he heard from Sufyan, who said he heard from Yahya ibn Sa’eed al-Ansari who said he was informed by Muhammad ibn Ibrahim al-Taymi that he heard ‘Alqama ibn Waqqas al-Laythi say that he heard ‘Umar ibn al-Khattab say on the sermon pulpit that he heard the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ say: ‘Actions are only by intentions…'”
This chain of six narrators was meticulously inspected by Imam al-Bukhari. In order for him to consider the hadith authentic, he had to study the lives of all the people in the chain in depth. He studied where and when the narrators lived, in order to make sure that if someone narrates from someone else, they must both have been in the same place at the same time and have actually met and discussed hadith. Other hadith scholars did not all require evidence that two consecutive narrators met personally, but Imam al-Bukhari’s strict requirements is what makes his compilation unique.
Imam al-Bukhari also studied the lives of narrators, to make sure they were trustworthy and would not fabricate, or change the wording of a hadith. If he discovered that someone in a chain openly sinned or was not considered trustworthy, that hadith was immediately discarded and not included in his book unless a stronger chain for it existed.
Using his strict guidelines for hadith acceptance, Imam al-Bukhari was the first to make a systematic approach to classifying hadith. Each hadith he analyzed was labelled as either sahih (authentic), hasan (good), mutawatir (recurrent in many chains), ahad (solitary), da’eef (weak), or mawdu’ (fabricated). This system for hadith then became the standard by which all hadiths were classified by other hadith scholars.

Imam al-Bukhari’s Fiqh

Imam al-Bukhari’s collection of hadiths is a monumental achievement and an irreplaceable cornerstone of the science of hadith scholarship. Through his work, hadith studies became a science with governing laws that protected the field from innovations and corruptions. However, his Sahih is not just a simple collection of hadiths. Al-Bukhari organized his collection in a way that it can also be used to help deduce rulings within Islamic law – fiqh.
The Sahih is divided into 97 books, each with numerous chapters within it. Each chapter is then titled with a ruling on a particular issue within fiqh. Then within the chapter will be all the hadiths that he considered authentic that support that ruling. For example, the chapter about extra prayer during the month of Ramadan (Taraweeh) is titled “The Superiority of Extra Prayers at Night in Ramadan” and it contains six sayings of the Prophet ﷺ that indicate how important the Taraweeh prayer is.
Thus, not only is Sahih al-Bukhari the most authentic book of hadith ever compiled, but Imam al-Bukhari also had the foresight to organize it into a book of law that helps everyday Muslims live their lives as close to the life of the Prophet ﷺ as possible. His monumental work would go to inspire generations of hadith scholars, including al-Bukhari’s student Muslim ibn al-Hajjaj, who would go on to collect Sahih Muslim, which is considered second only to Sahih al-Bukhari in authenticity.
One of the common accusations made by non-Muslims against Islamic sciences and the study of hadith is that there is no way of verifying the hadith and that they should not be used as a source of belief or law. This argument is based on a very rudimentary and flawed understanding of how the hadith were collected and the incredible amount of effort scholars such as al-Bukhari put into verifying their authenticity. With the monumental work of al-Bukhari and other scholars of hadith, we have been able to know what words and actions can truly be attributed to the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ even 1400 years after his life.

Bibliography:
Khan, Muhammad. The Muslim 100. Leicestershire, United Kingdom: Kube Publishing Ltd, 2008. Print.
Siddiqi, Muhammad. Hadith Literature. Cambridge: The Islamic Texts Society, 1993. Print.

Source: lostislamichistory

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