Waiting for Sunshine by my windows

I know maybe this is how Allah want to test me...
I know I should be grateful coz this is how He shows He loves me...

but I'm only human...
and it's killing me inside
words are weapons that can kill a person
especially when those words are from the people you love and trust

the people who don't even live with you
but assume all the things that you do just because you are not around
assume that you are too free
assume that you have lots of money
and assume that you are trying to hide it

the people who don't even know what you need to cover for
what you need to pay for
what you are doing and trying to save another soul
and assume that you just a hypocrites

the people who keep wanting you to listen to them
keep wanting you to do everything they want 
keep wanting you just to obey
but never respects you
then when you start to say no after all the years of never saying it
they said you are selfish and hypocrites
that the hijab and words of Allah that you shared doesnt reflects who you are
that you are non other than just a hypocrites who hides behind those words

imagine how sharp those words are when you are trying to reminds yourself
and at the same time trying to istiqomah in doing all of those
words that crushed my very soul

and I could be cold by ignoring all those
but unfortunately i cant
coz the fact that those words came from the people i cared
the people i love
and the people that i call family