Waiting for Sunshine by my windows

How strange that Nature does not knock, and yet does not intrude!  ~Emily Dickinson~

  I'm in love, I believed i am...
  with your strong body...
  your long arms...
  your tan skin...
  your beautiful colors...
  the way you soothe me...
  the way you comfort me...
  everytime when I'm under your arms, without failing...
  and everytime I look outside my window, you were always there...
  standing out looking at me...
  always there when I want to see the beautiful you...
  always there to cure my sore eyes...
  and I hope you will always be as beautiful and strong as you are now...
  my lovely tree outside my window~

Lot's of Love,

-Aziey Aj 2011-

not sure how to describe my feelings now...
it's a mixture of serenity and  thunderstorm..ahaahhaa..
despite everything that's been going on, I'm blessed to be surrounded by amazing friends..the real friends that stick with me and see me through my ups and down without discriminating me but helping me out by waking me up from my deep slumber and from my own foolishness...family members by blood that keep supporting me and cheering me up whenever I fall from my cheery chair...family members that are not from the same blood, the one that I look up to when I want to run away from all the chaos in my life here..where no immediate family are available..but I have them to run to, to turn to, to seek my peace at, to feel like I'm not alone...though I can't even show it (ah, the downside of being me..), I'm better in showing it in typing words rather than my action...

I just wanna say 

for being in my life and makes me feel loved and appreciated...and accepted for being me...
and most of all, thank you for supporting all the decisions that i have made all my life..whether it's a foolish one or a right one, and you guys let me learn for my own mistakes without turning away from me...I am blessed and I just can't say enough appreciation for that...

I'm trying to find my way back to who I was before...the me that only in love with Him..the me with only Him in my heart without a care bout anything else...coz I know, there's no love more pure than His... He who would never leave me alone...He who would never leave me broken hearted...Oh how I missed Him...how I missed being in His arms...I prayed that this road to salvation will be strong enough for me to walk it through...Amin...

Lots of Love,

-Aziey Aj 2011-

"Our love is like the wind... I can’t see it, but I sure can feel it" -Nicholas Spark 'A Walk To Remember'-

and you feel so real...
you touch me with your breeze...
you hug me gently with your wings...
and how I wish I could catch you...
and never let you go...
to keep me cool and put my heart on ease...
there and then, I fall in love with you...
on that mountain where  found you...
making the trees sways with your love for them...
and I would kiss you there and then...

Goethe To be loved for what one is, is the greatest exception. The great majority love in others only what they lend him, their own selves, their version of him.

Lots of Love,

-Aziey Aj 2011-

and I see you coming in...
sitting there in front of me...
with your black Ferrari sweater...
oh how you steal my breath away...
but you're just someone...
someone who passed me by...
someone insignificant to me...
someone without any importance to my life...
but tonight, you are someone that brought lights to my life..
someone that makes me feel like a girl...
someone that is worthy of someone else..
everytime that I caught your eyes looking my way...

lots of love,

-Aziey Aj 2011-

It's hard...you know that feeling? the feeling where you cared and scared about someone..and you're afraid that something might to them and you just have to find them to know that they're ok...but suddenly at the end of the day, they doesn't even bother about all the efforts that you do and for them, you are only the burden for them...

Hah~ and this is suppose to be a sunshining page..hahahha..
Righhtttt~ the thing is, all i wanted to say is, eventhough there is this kind of person, when they are my friends, I'll still be stupid to do that kind of stupid thing for them..coz that's what friends are for...and I'll be doing it until finally one day I'll reach my limit..and when that time came, don't even think I would bother to care or help them out...
Thankfully, I'm an altruistic person, so forgiveness is an easy thing for me...but forget about it...will be in million years...hahaha...

I might be hurt...but as a Gemini, I can be ok easily...now with home comfort and love that surrounds me..hanging out and girl talk with Lala...and with the baby sleeping..as Abo is following Mama and Uncle went to Penang to visit Jimmy...so, yeah..we have the house to ourselves..hehhe...and I'll be fine...

being here, with this family, just makes me feel peace...and I'm starting to start wearing my hijab whenever I'm with them..and the feelings that I have is, I just feel complete...and I love this feeling...

Being able to finally see the light after my break-up...I am finally falling in love with the idea of loving something more than human...My Salvation...that's what I'm trying to be..and this is where I wanna go...Coz that True Love is what everyone wants and craving for..and I get to get the call from Him telling me that the road I'm in now is not where i supposed to be...and to be with Him is where I should focus on...and I do Miss Him a LOT...and I know, being in love with ordinary human makes me forget and neglected Him...and thus, why He made me broken hearted by making the person I thought was the best for me leave me...coz He is always the Best for me and He wants me to know that...and He wants me to come home...I will and I'm willing to...Coz no one will ever be good enough for me unless He told me so...one day...hopefully one day, He'll show me that person before I need to go back to His side...

Lots of Love,

-Aziey Aj 2011-

it's been raining on the afternoon...
and I'm in the library doing my final year project proposal...
I've been down last night when i received an email from my Supervisor saying that she's disappointed with me as I was not doing up to her expectation of me...aahhh~ the frustration and the agony...I feel like my heart was broke into million pieces...the spirit of learning and doing my video in AE suddenly disappears...huhuuuhuu..so I went to sleep after replying her email, apologizing for my lack of information...
and i woke up early in the morning, checking my email and she told me that I still have time, so do my best..and after a good sleep, I guess I feel better...
so now, here I am...still in the library...my eyes feels like its going to be swollen again~ *oh boy~*
trying my best to do everything that I could to make my proposal smthng that she can be proud of...
and I was thinking of taking along my instrument during the presentation tomorrow~ Yippie~ hopefully it will help me boost my confidence to be different from others as I was the 1st candidate to present..*uh oh*..

Dear Allah, please give me the strength and help me get this through easily...
Amin...

oh shoot!! I havent rewrite yet the new Draft for our Academic Writing...
thankfully just need to edit some grammatical error from one of my peers...then I should be done...
wondering if I need to burn the midnight oil tonight...hopefully not...afraid that i couldnt perform well later...

Oh well, still I'm thankful that eventhough I'm in a lot of stress...I still can manage myself...well, not really, coz I get pissed off easily during this time..hahaha..poor my roommates...always gets a cold shoulder by me out of sudden...hehhee...Sorry Suzie.. n_n
I have to learn to control myself...this is a test for me..to be a better person..so, i dont want to fail it...
Ikeru Yo!!!

Ok...gotta get back to work...mr roman nagging me to finish my work already...hahaha

Lots of Love,

-Aziey Aj 2011-

I may be heartbroken, I may be hurt a million times...
I may not completed my task in due time...I may not do my test and what not, the very best I could...
and I may not feel happy 24 7...
I may be wishing that I could have the things that I don't have and couldn't have...
I may not be contend with what I already have...

BUT,
I know someday, my heart will be heal by the one that I call husband...
I know right now, I'm just learning life lesson in this so-called education world...even though, some of the lessons in class are not what's in my head for a long time...but I know, the life lesson about the people, about culture, about event, about heart, about feelings, about everything that's going on, will be the one that stays with me through my whole life...
I know that, 5 times a day, there are moments when I was contented and happy...when I'm having dates with my Only Love....
I know that, one day I can and will have anything that I want and wish for....but in different ways, maybe much more better version than what I want now....