Waiting for Sunshine by my windows

Syawal is nearing, Ramadhan is going away...

Subhanallah, Syukur ya Allah for getting me closer to you these last few days of Ramadhan..closer than I ever did before..
Alhamdulillah for all the trials that You gave to me to make me beg to You and run to You in these few nights of power.

I've been praying for Allah to give me ikhlas in my heart for everything that I have done for you.
I keep praying for the best for you.
I prayed that Allah makes me redha for whatever pain that I've been through, redha in His test for me...

I am only human, like the song i keep singing to you in the car.
I break and I fall apart...i keep begging for you because thats all I want to do..and I still want to fight for what we used to have.
Insya-Allah, He'll answer my istikharah

Masya-Allah, may Allah guide you.
be grateful
be grateful and do dhuha..stop blaming your life..
Stop saying that your life was ruined..
stop saying that life condemn you..
its the same thing as if you are blaming Allah for all your test..
and as long as you didnt feel grateful and learn to be grateful and patience, Allah wouldn't change your conditions but making it worse instead.
So be grateful...
Your dreams of helping people around you are beautiful,
but you have to learned to save your own souls and the people that love you first.
Dont push away anyone that do everything to stay and love you.
I pray that you will achieved all that you dream of soon.
I pray the best for your future.
May you learned to appreciate and have gratitude for whoever it is in your future.
And respect them not degrade her in front of other people.
Pray with gratitude in your heart..Insya-Allah you'll see the difference..

Subhanallah, I am also thankful for you..
For reminding me how far I have strayed..
For reminding me of my sins..I am indeed only human..and a girl at that
I'm using my emotions more than my head..
Forgive me for all the things that you thought I make you do

Lillahi taala, i never ever thought of making you follow my decisions or ideas..
You came to me asking for opinion, so I gave you my personal opinion with the thoughts of both of us in the future..
In the end, its you yourself that decides what you want to do..
So stop trying to blame people around you if things dont work out for you..
how can you take care of your future wife if all you did was blaming her for every little things in the future?
Subhanallah..I wish you the very best in your life..

Hopefully, if you are reading this,
please know that I am not trying to make you into a version that I would want you to be..because I accept you as you were..
and you have slowly change from the person you are to the person you said you wouldn't be..
reflect your heart..
read those books i gave you and reflect it on yourself
dont just read and forget..
reflect and learn to be the person you used to be again..

Forgive me as Ramadhan is at its end...
and as human, in the name of Allah, I do love you sincerely..
May Allah ease your life Mr D.

xoxo,
-naraj2014-

Istikharah.. the best way to make decision in your life

I was scared...
I feel  lost...
Scared that I would lose the best gift Allah has given me during my darkest hour..
It was hard to lost sight of what I know as the best I would ever knew..

As a fragile human,
i can't help to feel these hopelessness...
I tried everything I could to save whatever it is that i can grasp unto
I forgot...
I forgot all His promises because i dwell too much on my own pain
I forgot that, the closer we are trying to reach Him
the more harder the test His gonna give to us
this is His way of showing love to us
so that we will keep asking from Him

and my way of showing my love may differ
i can't stand letting the one i love all alone
letting them dwell with their pain alone
i try to be there for them, to ease their pain
but sometimes, i just dont understand the need that one have to be alone
so i will end up annoying and suffocating them
instead of giving them my support and love

I'm still learning
I still have a lot to learn
I just hope i will learn fast enough

xoxo
-naraj2014-

Did We not expand for you, [O Muhammad], your breast?

And We removed from you your burden