Polymyositis...
what the hell is that?
that is the thing i was diagnosed with few years back...
Polymyositis is a disease of muscle featuring inflammation of the muscle fibers. The cause of the disease is not known. It begins when white blood cells, the immune cells of inflammation, spontaneously invade muscles. The muscles affected are typically those closest to the trunk or torso. This results in weakness that can be severe. Polymyositis is a chronic illness featuring progressive muscle weakness with periods of increased symptoms, called flares or relapses, and minimal or no symptoms, known as remissions.
http://www.medicinenet.com/polymyositis/article.htm#polymyositis_factsI was admitted for more than 6 days..
in a foreign place..where no one knows me and no family around...
that was an absolute torture i tell ya.. *cringed*
one of the reason why I hate going to hospital for check up..incase i was being hospitalized again..
it was also the time when i didnt told any of my family members that i was admitted..
decided to lay low and not keep them worried since i was so eager to get out as soon as I can..which still the doctors(two specialists for my case mind you) still insist on watching my progress for my physiotherapy session..which didnt took much time as i was unable to do much by then..
and the reason why daddy was being a bit revengeful i guess, coz he also hide the fact that he was vomitting blood and being hospitalized not long after that..and died in the hospital while i have no clue what happen back home..until mom called me that eventful night..
i miss you daddy..and i'm sorry.. T_T
okay..back to topic...
So, this polymyositis..oh well, i've managed to keep it under control these few years...
having some ibuprofen with me around for when i needed it...
few years back, was on prednisolone, which doesnt really help me much.. well it does helps in terms of putting the inflammation on hold but doesnt really help in terms of depression..coz man, that prednisolone really mess with ze brain... depressed? yaa...
so i preferred ibuprofen instead..which i need to scarcely took to keep it working..
but lately, the relapsed keep coming and going...and ibuprofen doesnt really help this time coz I'm getting frequent attack..
maybe due to lack of working out?
why working out? well, i guess, physiotherapy does have some workout moves..but lighter version...
thats one of the reason why i started working out...but its getting hard even to keep my hands unshaky these days..and my legs, well, i even have trouble walking properly again...good thing people mistook it as clumsy.. :P
i kinda run away from the hospital the last time..
due to too much blood being drained from me for the blood tests..
they were waiting for me to do my muscle biopsy instruction back then..but i lied to the driver that i was okay to be discharged and left him to clean up the mess... muahahha... *evil me*
my lungs keep forgetting how to be one frequently these days...
most of the time, the lungs failure are sudden...which is why sometimes, when people talk to me, my voice suddenly become very small..and most of them would be mad at me when they can't hear me.. :(
i was trying hard to dull the pain inside which causes the low volume of voice i could projected at times..
oh well, its not like they know what i'm going through...
so, if anyone of you knows me that read this, next time when i suddenly become quiet and my voice became small, please dont be mad... i didnt mean to do it on purpose :')
okay...back to topic
since, the attack are too frequent and my ibuprofen was not helping this days, i think, maybe...
i would need to surrender myself to the specialist again..
ohhh the dread of dying of boredom in hospitals...
its killing meeeee...
well..i think thats all...
xoxo
-naraj2014-
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